Monday, July 28, 2008

The imperfect wife

I'm terribly, terribly ashamed of myself and my husband. If you've read any of my blog or if you know me in person, you know I love my husband, and I know I love my husband, and I know my husband loves me. But yesterday, yesterday, I'll never live down yesterday. You see, I forgot and he forgot that yesterday was our sixth anniversary. I feel lower than low, lower than I've ever felt, terrible really because it never even dawned on me. I talked about it 2 weeks ago, then we spent 5 days in Georgia, looking at houses, and we forgot. I'm a week off, I keep thinking that it's last week, but that's no excuse. I'm just lame.

Yesterday afternoon, we're sitting at Firestone, waiting for an oil change, when MSH's dad emails him. MSH checks his blackberry and sees that his sweet father has wished us a happy anniversary. At which point he informs me that it is our anniversary, and I have to start laughing to cover the fact that I'm crying. I mean, crying in the greeting card aisle at Wal-Mart is one thing, but crying at Firestone without a huge repair bill looking you in the face is completely unacceptable. I can't believe it.

So, to celebrate, we had lunch from McDonald's. Later I made a peach cobbler, because peaches are MSH's favorite and I'm trying to use up all the food in the house before we move. And for our big anniversary dinner--frozen lasagna, well it was frozen when we bought it, I did heat it up before we ate it.

I think my need to explain things like that is my father's influence. He would have responded to that statement with "Why would you eat frozen lasagna? Was your oven broken? Even if it was, you could have let it thaw first. You must have been really hungry." or something similar. This type of thing usually resulted in a big eye-roll from me or my brothers, followed by a "Da-addy" and further unnecessary explanation, so in order to preempt this, we learned to fully explain every detail before he had a chance to get us. Looking back, I think it was funny, but at the time, I found it exasperating. But I've always been completely in love with my Daddy, exasperation and all.

OK, I admit, that was a little bit rambling and tangential, but that's just who I am.

This photo was taken on our honeymoon. I apologize for the quality, it's a scan of a low-quality copy of a snapshot from a roll of film that was x-rayed 17 times. But, you get the idea. It's one of my favorite pictures of him. What a handsome man I have. When my Granny met him, her first observation was, "Well, he's a tall somebody, ain't he?" Yes, Granny, he is a tall somebody. And six years into this life together, I'm glad to have this "tall somebody", everyday.

Today, I don't feel quite so bad, mostly because I'm an indignant person, and MSH keeps trying to make me feel guilty by pointing out that he remembered first. To which I respond that being reminded by your father is not the same as remembering. So, because he's trying to make me feel guilty, I actually don't feel as bad because I'm all about being a rebel, sometimes.
So, Happy Anniversary, MSH! I may have forgotten on the date, but I've never forgotten how much I love you. I am thankful for every day of the last six years and look forward to at least 60 more. And, I forgive you for forgetting our anniversary, and from this point forward, I'm going to chalk it up to living in the moment and not dwelling on the past because that makes me feel better about myself.

No comments: